Kate in Real Life

It's not that I haven't had things to write, this past month.  I've written a few posts, in my mind.  Even logged in a time or ten, with the intention of jotting down my thoughts...only to log out, without so much as writing down a single word.
 
In the midst of happiness & joyful experiences, there have also been a few events that have weighed heavily on my heart.  I've been witness to some hard times in the lives of others.  Out of respect for my sweet friends & family, I'm not going to go into detail, concerning these trials.  Those are their stories to tell, if they ever choose to post them on a blog for the world to read.  I only feel at liberty to share that I have been sad.  And tired.  And an emotional eater that irrationally decides licorice or monster cookies qualify as dinner.   

Sometimes, there just aren't words for challenging situations.  Other times, words come easily.  I just haven't been in the mood to write.  Also, if I can be honest, once I speak words or physically put them on paper or on a computer screen, they become more real to me. 

I think I just didn't want many moments in the past month to be real.  Do you ever feel that way?     

The reality is that we will all experience some degree of loss, this side of Heaven.  Loss of a job, loss of mobility, loss of a skill, loss of a loved one, etc.  My pastor has often reminded our church that God does have a purpose for absolutely everything.  We don't have to know the details of the purpose, but we can trust that there IS purpose.  It's hard to believe & see, at times, but it's true.

{Side note:  Have you seen Soul Surfer?  Ooohh, if not, go see it.  Great example of gaining perspective in challenging circumstances.   It mentions the example of when we are so close to a situation, it's difficult to see the big picture.  God knows the big picture.}

For me, relying on God doesn't minimize or trivialize my hurt.  In my head, I know the hurt is real & that God doesn't expect me to pretend that it isn't.  I definitely don't always understand the reason for the hurt, but I try to remember God's character & how He's shown up in & throughout my life.  Simply, He is my definition of hope.  I just couldn't bear the hard things in life without Him, and thankfully, He doesn't want me to bear those circumstances alone.  No need to be a wonder woman.  ***sigh of relief***
 
I say all of that, but in the same breath, admit that I do fail to sometimes go right to Jesus.  Sometimes, it's more convenient to go right to Cheez-Its & not really deal with things for a moment.  However, my heart knows what's right.  I guess I'm a work in progress, like everyone else on this journey.  :)        

If I never experienced or witnessed trials or hurt & always "had it all together," I honestly don't think I'd see a real need for a loving God.  If I never experienced a care in the world, I'm not sure I'd learn to authentically care about anything.