Sick and Tired...For Reals

We've had a number of health issues, here at the Eck house.  It's almost humorous.  Almost.  ;)
We had the usual rounds (yes...plural) of viruses that attacked everything from tummies to nasal passages.  Pink eye even stopped by for a short, unexpected visit.  In September, ONE juvenile acne bump appeared on J's face.  It must have felt cozy nestled on his right cheek, because it decided to stay awhile...as in, it's still there.  We think it's finally resolving itself & about ready to vacate the premises.  At some point, L's eczema flared up & he had some crazy warts spring up in his elbow pit.  Meanwhile, J began constantly walking on his toes, due to a BIG growth spurt.  I guess the tendons in his ankles couldn't quite keep up...and BOOM...the kid was walking on his tip toes.  I can't even make this stuff up.  :)

A laundry list of ailments.  There were creams, drops, or cold medications to apply/give every four hours...or twice a day...or three times a day, etc.  J needed physical therapy, which meant he had exercises/stretches to do at home twice a day.

Somewhere along the line, I became really overwhelmed.  Really tired.  Really forgetful.  Even though I rationally knew that grown ups all over the world were caring for kids, applying ointments, helping with homework, volunteering at school, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & preparing meals, I began to doubt that I could handle all of these responsibilities.  I wanted to cry & I just wanted everybody to leave me alone so I could sleep.  That works out real well when you're a mother.  ;)

It was a struggle to get out of bed, each morning.  As soon as the kids hopped on the bus, I'd hop back in bed & tell myself that I'd just get an extra hour or so of sleep.  That "hour" turned in to sleeping most of the morning & barely being able to wake up in time to see J get off the bus at lunchtime.  My energy was zapped & I started to "check out".  I missed workouts that I typically enjoyed & the usual household chores just seemed too hard & not worth the effort.  Occasionally, I'd have a little spurt of energy & I'd do something worthwhile.  That was all well & good, except that afterwards, I was wiped out.  Stamina was NOT my middle name. 

I spent a lot of time feeling guilty that I wasn't keeping up with life, but my body wouldn't allow me to hardly keep my eyes open.  Sleeping all morning turned into SleepFest 2011.  I was a pro at taking naps throughout the day/evening, too.  J would ask me, in the afternoons, why I was so tired all of the time.  Made me sad.  I wondered:  What is my problem?  Why am I tired all the time?

It was all so gradual, that I originally thought I was just a tired mom.  Then, I remembered this feeling.  It was familiar.  I have hypothyroidism.  When it was first discovered, I felt completely run down & tired all the time.  So, I decided to have my thyroid levels checked, even though I had a physical scheduled several weeks away from that time.  I couldn't afford to wait, because I suddenly was very aware that I wasn't feeling like myself.  Something was wrong.

Without going into all the medical details, I had labs drawn...three times.  My thyroid was functioning fine.  Results showed that I had recently been "sick," even though I couldn't recall a specific illness.  Puzzling.  When the nurse called with, what I thought were my final results, she said all looked well.  I was so discouraged.  Not like I wanted something to be wrong...but, I wanted something to be wrong.  Know what I mean?  Feeling crazy for no reason stinks. 

Stretching for answers, I seriously began to wonder if:  a) I was entering PERIperimenopause or the ever so logical b)  I was a possible candidate for that "I'm Pregnant and Didn't Know It," TLC show.  In the midst of all this, I also had my first mammogram (which is no big deal, BTW.  Get 'er done.).  Well, I was called back for a 2nd appointment, due to a "finding".  Great.  Went for the appointment.  Had mammo & scans were immediately shown to the radiologist...who decided I needed one more scan.  Double great.  Up until that point, I hadn't felt too worried.  Now I was thinking about how I maybe had cancer AND was a possible candidate for the TLC show.  The good news is that all was well.  The "finding" was nothing.  Obviously, it wasn't contributing to my extreme fatigue.       

I decided I needed to just suck it up & somehow will myself out of this depression or whatever it was funk.  I continued to ask for prayer.  I also started to make little goals for myself:  Making my bed, right after willing myself out of it.  I also thought it might be a positive step to put on real clothes...something other than pajama pants, to drive the boys down to the bus stop.  Not that I care whether I or others wear pj pants to the bus stop...especially if you're in a vehicle & nobody can even tell. The main deal was that I needed attainable goals...things to encourage me not to crawl back into bed & sleep the day away.  I made lists & set alarms on my cell like crazy, so that I wouldn't forget to do things.

I was feeling a little better.  The sadness seemed to lift & I had more & more spurts of energy.  I still battled fatigue, but it was like my new normal.

Then, it happened.  Two days before Christmas, the phone rang, & it was the sweet nurse from my doctor's office.  "Oh, Katie...I'm SO SORRY!"  Well, the last time I had labs, a new computer system went live.  I guess she didn't see the extra panel of lab work done that day.  When she had originally given me my results, I thought they included this panel of blood work.  Not so, my friends.  Not so.

Turns out that I had a severely low vitamin D level AND...I had recently had mono.  Sounds weird to celebrate an illness, but I totally did a (non-energetic) happy dance.  I thanked her over & over for calling, because now I officially knew I wasn't just a basket case.  I had MONO, Baby!!!  It was like an early Christmas present.  Well, low vitamin D & mono pretty much explained EVERYTHING. 
Thank you, Jesus...and I mean that with all sincerity. 

Sorry for those of you hoping I'd reveal a pregnancy.  Those days are behind me, since my body and pregnancy don't exactly get along.  My blood doesn't like to clot, when it's pregnant, along with a whole lot of other weird things.  Delivering two, healthy boys & not dying were the big perks to that special experience.  Anyway...

That's the scoop on the last several months.  I'm now taking prescription strength vitamin D for about three months.  My energy continually improves, even though some days I still have a few hours of fatigue.  I think I'm on my way to improved health.  Hooray!!!!!!!!!!  Man...thanks to everyone who put up with me, during all of that.  You are loved!  :)  And...hopefully, my kids won't need therapy, due to the state of my being the past few months.   

I will say, that there was a positive, to all the negative.  My heart was probably more prepared for Christmas than most years.  I focused a lot on how Jesus is Emmanuel...God with us.  (See previous post).  I don't know how people go through tough stuff without Jesus.  That would be extra overwhelming, I imagine.  He is worth knowing, trust me. 

While I haven't loved feeling yucky & basically haven't had much of an immune system to work with, God has been good.  I hope that, even if I wasn't feeling better, that I could keep that perspective.  Sometimes, when we experience the hard stuff in life, we learn to depend more on Him.  Is there a better place to be, than the arms of Jesus...even & especially when we're sick and tired.  I didn't think so.  :)